This day (written on Jan 28) was a series of small victories. The majority of which most people wont recognize, but for me they were each significant. I proved, to myself, that I really can handle quite a lot more than I thought I could. LOL that and I just really needed a "win" after the series of hard losses lately.

Today I balanced opposites, I held the balance where I shouldnt have been able to. And more often than not, did so with a brilliant efficency that shocked me. I also think it is no accident that "THE BLACK SWAN" opened this evening, and I happened to catch the late show of it. This film is absolutely mind blowing for any number of reasons... the sheer dedication Natalie Portman has to her craft is simply astonishing with what she has managed to achieve here. Crafting a nuanced performance of character study, of a girl with the overbearing mother that lives her life under such intense micromanagement that the second she sees her shot to take that brass ring she has been chasing her whole life... she sort of goes mad. You completely forget you are watching her act, she so convincingly pulls off every little nuance... down to the most difficult of things to fake; REAL ADVANCED BALLET TECHNIQUE. from the hyperextension of the ankle to the perfect center of a spin.... sure there are moments when you can see them replace her with an actual professional, but for the most part she is so thoroughly convincing it absolutely declares her full comming into her own as reaching the peak of her talent.

This film however, I managed to seriously overidentify with, for it is very similar to my own life in many respects, from the overbearing and UNBEARABLE parent, to the dedication to finding a complete sense of self, from balancing both the light and dark sides of a persons nature and character, to the nuanced emotional creshendo that she reaches as the title role. It reminds me of a teacher I had once who stressed to me the balance between control and passion. As well as skirting the very thin line between sanity and percieved insanity... but really, in the end it shows clearly a high concept that will be lost on alot of watchers... It is truly an astonishing achievement.

However it has taken me a while to post this, as usual, life offers me a great many distractions. Some pleasent and others less so...  but this game of life is NOT a cspectator sport, it is one where you have to play!